Copy-paste messages are the bane of OkCupid. They’re like a rash. A chafing, pustulent rash, making every girl’s inbox itch. I assure you, it isn’t pretty.
An analogy: last year, at a music festival, I went to see a fortune teller. She wasn’t a particularly good fortune teller. Her primary skill was her ability to sound like Mystic Meg after one too many magic mushrooms. “You’ll fall in love,” she divined, “with… mmmm… something about the nose. Do you like anyone with a big nose?”
“Not that I can think of,” I said.
“What about a small nose, then?” she pressed.
“Ummmm, not really sure,” I said.
“What about a pierced nose, then?” she insisted, gazing intently at my nose stud. “It’s related to the nose, in any case. Or… or is it eyes? Does he have striking eyes?”
I agreed that he might, since eyes are intrinsically striking.
Copy-paste messages seem to work a little bit like that. All you really need, when sending one, is the ability to make confident-sounding declarations that could apply to anyone at all.
Now, I’m not talking about spam messages per se. Those are easy to identify. They generally make a) no reference to the recipient b) were written by someone with txt spk in their user name c) sound a bit like this:
can i get to know you?
If like me you enjoy being treated well, respected and ambitious then just try me. I am not like every one else who want to fool you you with just words, i am down to earth and straight forward. I have no time for silly games, try me before you say no, you can email me at : firstname.lastname@example.org
No, I’m referring to a higher calibre of spam. If we’re comparing messages to tinned foodstuffs, let’s go for something a little more appetising – the verbal equivalent of instant custard. I’m talking about the guys who have at least attempted to cover their tracks.
- Hello, you sound very interesting and the picture is very nice.
- You seem to be a nice person. Do you want to go out sometime? 😉
- hi! You sound pretty cool. Stunning too! Im in South West London, Kingston Upon Thames. Buy you a drink someday?
This sort of thing could be sent to any girl whatsoever on the site. Sometimes the game is up for the guy when he copy-pastes you the same message twice.
I do understand why a bloke might resort to such tactics. The hit ratio for men – nearly all men – is decidedly poor. And it may seem too much of an investment to individually craft each message, given that it’s like preparing a fine delicacy for a spoiled queen with a history of pooh-poohing Beluga caviar. Still, your odds will go from slim to none if you just chuck instant custard in her lap.
Or will it? I’m curious. Have any of you ever composed a copy-paste message which actually worked? And if so, what did it say? Anyone with the ingenuity to write one seems to me well-worth dating…