And if you can’t find a *real* romance…

Don’t let the bastards bring you back down to earth…

Lonely and miserable? No luck with OkCupid? Eating a microwaveable meal for one while playing Farmville in what used to be your lucky pants? Well, a website called Cloud Girlfriend may soon be around to help.

Cloud Girlfriend has yet to launch but is already generating sky-high levels of hype. With the tagline: ‘The best way to get a girlfriend is to already have one’, it promises to up your social networking ante by offering a ‘public long-distance relationship with your perfect girl’.

As far as your Facebook friends can tell, you’ll be ‘in a relationship’. It will be your smug updates that make them question the meaninglessness of their existence. And it will be your misty-eyed love notes that make them want to vomit over their computer screen, before hurling it into a lake.

Cloud Girlfriend is, of course, an entirely nebulous creation. She will consist of a fake profile, managed by a team of people who are probably bald and male. But she will post on your wall, and ‘like’ your statuses, and nobody but the checkout lady at Tesco need know about the microwaveable meals.

It is unclear at this stage whether Cloud Girlfriend will ever see the light of day. Facebook’s terms of service are adamant that ‘you will not provide any false personal information on Facebook, or create an account for anyone other than yourself without permission.’ Cloud Girlfriend fails on this count. Given the ‘probably bald and male’ bit, it is a fount of false personal information.

Still, the founders seem to be a philanthropic bunch. As co-founder David Fuhriman told the website Business Insider, interacting with a virtual girlfriend may help build up confidence and social skills. It might also make a man more desirable, with visitors to his profile thinking, “Someone else thinks highly enough of this person to date him, so maybe I should too.”

If that sounds cynical (I for one am not sure I could date someone who had in essence hired a hologramatic escort), the research is on Fuhriman’s side. A study in 2009 revealed that taken men were over 50 per cent more attractive to women than single ones. Apparently this is due to attached men having been ‘pre-screened’ by other women, whereas single guys haven’t yet been vetted.

Do the wall posts of a pretend girlfriend courtesy of a paid-for website count as  pre-screening? Probably not, but if you want to impress other women she’s potentially a better bet than Farmville. Believe me, most things are…


About Abi Millar

British freelance journalist living in the Netherlands
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6 Responses to And if you can’t find a *real* romance…

  1. Mark says:

    Its all well and good until your cloud girlfriend gets more friends than you and changes her status to “Its Complicated”

  2. Abi Millar says:

    Haha! I’m sure you’d get your money back

  3. Nick says:

    The pre-vetted point rings true in my experience, and the funny thing is that I think women have a sixth sense, even if they don’t actually know you’re in a relationship – perhaps it’s how one projects oneself.

    All I know is that I’ve been deluded enough at the end of each relationship to think, well, this is all horrible, but I should find someone else soon. And then? Bugger. Tumbleweed…..

    Anyway, I’d be amazed if this hasn’t already been done in Japan. It’s almost Tamagotchi.

  4. Alex says:

    I can’t decide whether this is really creepy or cool (from a technological perspective).

    I’m also not sure whether to be ashamed that this concept has crossed my mind before.

  5. stevesw says:

    I just posted a link to this article on my blog ( I really liked it. Keep posting!

  6. Pingback: Dating can be ‘April Fools!’ year-round | My Next Date

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