Men of OkCupid, I’m going to let you in on a secret. Most of the other men on OkCupid are exactly the same as you.
There is a common misconception, among you normal people, that you are adrift amongst a sea of pervs. A choppy, frothy sea of pervs with slightly crusty foam.
The reason for this misconception? It’s us girls. We moan about them. Personally, I’ve been known to blog about them. The pervs exist, they really do; and they’re awfully fun to recoil from. They just don’t exist in anything like the quantities we have led you on to believe.
Over the last week, for example, I have received maybe two messages which veered slightly into oddball territory. One began “I’m a bit ancient for you, but…”, and the other came from someone who wanted “a long-distance relationship with a woman who will tease and deny”. (He’ll have been delighted to find that I denied him.)
All the other messages I received, disappointingly, have been somewhere on the normal spectrum. Some were funny. Some direct. Some were charming. Some were bland. Some negged. Some begged. One told me my pictures reminded him of Desperately Seeking Susan.
Regular guys in short; the sort I might encounter anyway throughout my day-to-day existence. And although I didn’t reply to all of them, I didn’t have to sit down each time and fan my face and insist my maid pass me my smelling salts.
Now, I should point out here that when I speak of ‘pervs’ I’m not talking about people with fetishes and kinks per se. I’m talking about people who bring these fetishes and kinks to bear on their first message. The main thing that’s objectionable about them, quite distinct from their sexual peccadilloes, is that this is their only means of interaction.
As for the rest of you, if you were hoping to distinguish yourself through your normality, I’m afraid you’re fighting a losing battle. If you want to stand out in this arena, limited social skills and a squirrel suit might actually be the way to go…