10 Other Dating Websites

OkCupid getting you down? Good, then I’ve fulfilled one of my aims with this blog. But there’s hope. You can always try one of these – rather more niche – dating sites for size:

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1) The Ugly Bug Ball – a site for the aesthetically challenged.
They say: “Ugly people have lower expectations – for a first date a Family Bucket will usually do the trick.”
Ideal if you: have a couple of ropey photos and an overdeveloped sense of irony.
Success stories: Tom and Janine were offered a free honeymoon to Borth in Wales because the site has ‘a company caravan there’.

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2) BBWCupid.com – a BBW dating site for plus size singles interested in serious dating.
They say: “If you’re looking for long term relationships with BBW women or big men, you’ve come to the right place”
Ideal if you: reckon Rubens had the right idea
Success stories: Andrea says: “In about 1 month and a half i found Sven-Erik, he live in Sweden and i in Brazil, but we are engaged now, and we go marry in july.”

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3) PositiveSingles.com – A community for singles and friends with STDs

They say: “Do you wish there was a place where you didn’t have to worry about being rejected?”
Ideal if you: go about your daily business in a crash helmet like the woman in that old Zovirax ad.
Success stories: Available to members only, which is just as well as I wouldn’t feel quite right taking the piss. (‘The’ piss, not ‘a’ piss, incidentally. I’m not a member.)

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4) Tastebuds.FM – Free music dating and social network for music lovers
They say: “For some people music taste is an important factor when choosing a potential partner.”
Ideal if you: have read too much Nick Hornby. If your ex insisted on sharing long, romantic bubble baths to the somnolent sounds of the Celtic pan flute.
Success stories: Most likely to be told by Nirvana fans, who apparently have sex on the first date.

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5) Darwin Dating – Online dating for beautiful people only
They say: “Sick of dating websites filled with ugly, unattractive, desperate fatsos? We are.”
Ideal if you: used to skive biology class to stare enraptured at your own belly-button fluff.
Success stories: Here are some beautiful people whose existences were temporarily validated.

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6) PlatonicPartners.co.uk – A website celebrating celibate, platonic, non-physical or partly physical relationships
They say: “It’s OK to say no.”
Ideal if you: normally have to revert to lurking on a street corner carrying a ‘Free Hugs’ placard.
Success stories: A happy couple say: “It is not easy to find a non-sexual person today – we will send you an invitation to the wedding!’ [Warning – even at asexual weddings there’s still the requisite uncle trying to grope you.]

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7) Date a Millionaire – The #1 dating site for rich single men/women looking to find their soulmate.
They say: “Sign up and instantly search through thousands of millionaire singles looking for someone like you.”
Ideal if you: are broke. And delusional.
Success stories: The couples on the stock photos look happy…

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8) Pagan Partners –  The UKs contacts dating agency for all people of a pagan faith.
They say: “So Wiccan, Druid, Shaman, come friends all.”
Ideal if you: are tired of trying to lure your love through entrapment spells.
Success stories: Wedding photos here. And not a cauldron in sight.

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9) Muddy Matches – The rural online dating site for single farmers, rural singles, equestrian singles and country friends.
They say: “The farmer wants a wife? Then he has come to the right place.”
Ideal if you: Are a farmer. And want a wife. Or just a mud-wrestling companion.
Success stories: Jim says “I’ve met someone very nice on this site!” Hurrah for Jim!

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10) Geek Date – The dating site for geeks to find a partner.
They say: “Spend too much time installing drivers and recompiling your kernel to find a partner?”
Ideal if you: have ever used the phrase ‘recompiling your kernel’ as a euphemism.
Success stories: None yet. Although a bit of promotional bumpf at the bottom claims “I’ve never had a geek not call me when he said he would.”

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6 Responses to 10 Other Dating Websites

  1. Alex says:

    This is comic. I can’t believe most of these sites actually exists. In fact I thought it was a joke until I clicked on a few of the links.

    I swear that my idea of arranged/forced online dating is the only one that will ever work. 😛

    • Matt says:

      Geek dating, almost sounds like a challenge.

      However I’m more for the Darwin site; I suspect none of them have ever read about the Darwin awards which may just apply to them.

      Abi this sounds like a feature that could run and run. There must be some really weird minority websites out there… Tory Faithful.com, Marxist lovers, Halitosis Friends…

  2. I once spent an entire dinner with my roommate and a religious Mormon discussing ideas for niche dating sites. Unfortunately, all of our ideas already existed. Amongst them were…

    Oompalove.com (datealittle.com already exists) midget dating
    Islamabaaad.com (doesn’t exist) lapsed Muslim dating
    Jailbaitforjailbirds.com (we were getting a bit pissed at this point)
    Herpplease.com (incurable STD dating)

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